致命的大错

"Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10."

"Qualifications: No education or experience."

"I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy."

"My compensation should be at least equal to my age."

"Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC."

"Fired because I fought for lower pay."

"Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 65" .

"Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date."

"Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near."

"Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia. I prefer to elaborate privately."

打字错误与语法错误

"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."

"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."

"I am a rabid typist."

"Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879-1981."

"After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to
pursue a new line of work."

"Accounting cleric."

"As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments."

"Suspected to graduate earlynce analyzing investments."

"Suspected to graduate early next year."

"Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."

"Proven ability to track down and correct erors."

"Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."

"Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."

"Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school."

不应有的幽默

"Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house."

"Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting." (Translation: Short-order cook.)

"But wait...theres more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature."

"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."

"My fortune cookie said, Your next interview will result in a job-and I like your company in particular."

"Title: Another resume from the Profiles in Excellence series."

"Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, Mr.Fix-it."

"Trustworthy references available upon request-if I give them a few bucks."

"Lets meet so you can ooh and ahh over my experience."